I was recently sent into tears, good tears, good laughing tears that is, when I read a recent blog posted on a friend's profile. The blog itself, from my perspective, is about failed and good relationships, about being a mother, a wife, a sister...and about trifflin' ass shit we gotta deal with, as women, from time to time. I love it. Whenever my friend posts it, I rush to read it. So when I read the newest one about titled "Los Lonely Lesbos" I quickly clicked on the link to read. It basically posted a letter from a somewhat disgruntled ex-follower who expressed her disappointment in the blogger's "pushed agenda". What agenda that is? Well, duh...she wants us all women to be LESBIANS! In the words of blogger Carolyn A. Edgar, she responded "Really though, the conflation of “woman self-empowerment” with “lesbian” is disturbing".
Now I cannot tell you how many times I've seen this myself. Heck, I've even been guilty of this type of stereotyping myself, especially in academia. Let's face it...whenever you see a woman, in my case, a woman of color, with short hair, a strong, demanding voice, and in no need of a partner/husband, automatically I'm thinking lesbian. What I didn't know was that I, despite my long hair, big fake boobs, have been a victim of the same type of stereotypes. Not that I mind though...as I do love women. We're able to endure a lot of shit...think periods and child birth.
In any case, why is it that when we see strong women we put them in an often isolated box? What is it about an independent, self-sufficient, educated and empowered woman that appears to be so threatening?
I got to thinking then, about how, when, where or why the concept of all that I named above automatically qualifies a woman into the lesbian? So I'm thinking more...who came up with these labels? Could it have been a man? That would be me speculating though.
But I will say this though - from experience, I know that it takes a very strong man to be with a woman who possesses those "lesbian" qualities. A man who is comfortable with his own manhood in my opinion can only demonstrate it by supporting the strong woman he's chosen to be with, and not only support, but learn from her, listen to her, and love her for what she's able to bring to the table. So I guess I've entered the qualms of lesbianism...but I'm also happy to share that I have in my life a man who's just fine with it. That says a lot about him and that's why for us, it works. Fellows and ladies alike...lesbianism might not be a bad thing - for your relationship or for society.