When It's All Bad, Some Good Stuff Happens

So it's been quite a while since I wrote my piece about the divorce. Remember that? Umm, yah. I haven't had the energy to write part deuce. Not only do I need the energy, but this whole thing has been a going one direction one day, and another the next.
But wait...there's more. There's nothing more that I dislike in this world than unwanted stuff...like unwanted hair, unwanted pints of ice cream, which will ruin my diet, or unwanted feedback and advice. A little angry human approached me about my blog writings and exposing way too much in order to gain "sympathy" from others. This person thought it was unfair as it could potentially put certain things and certain people in a bad light (eheemm...perhaps the actual person).
First of all...I love to write. Period. I've been writing for as long as I remembered how to put sentences together. I have written many stories and creative pieces. One of my most memorable creative writing essays made the recipient of a Gold Medal, 1st place win back in high school. It was a region-wide competition too. Yay me. LOL.
And second of all, it is indeed my intention to gain attention...but not attention for people to choose Team SweetCapri, or Team Amanda, or pick sides. I do it because when another woman can relate to my experience and write me a note saying how she was touched, encouraged, empowered, etc...then I feel like my job is done. I have reached out to someone or somebody who may know somebody who might want to share a different perspective. It just so happens that perspective is mine. But hey, if I can get sympathy in the form of dollar signs, I will be more than happy to get that kind as well.
Now let me be clear that not one single person I know is happy to be dealing with a divorce. It. Sucks. However, and that's a big HOWEVER, I have learned a whole lot about myself, others, and my family. Not all has been negative and bad. I'll even make a list to show you.

1. I have learned to be self-sufficient and independent. A lot of women like myself have had the advantage of a dual household income. When that is no longer an option, you learn to survive. You have to make ends meet on your own for yourself and your children. The same goes for the other spouse.
   
2. I have learned to value myself. This goes along with the above statement. Once I found myself thousands of dollars short every month, I had to put to use what I had worked so hard over the years. I did earn a Master's degree...that shit was a lot of hard work and sweat. I did it while taking care of a home (laundry, cooking, cleaning, looking over the kids, being a personal chauffeur, arranging play dates, doctor's appointments). I did it while working full time, part time, and at points I had to completely forgo working and earning an income so I can finish. But I did it. And no one can take that away from me. With that said, I have a hell of a lot of experiences to bring to the table to any, and I mean ANY employer. Learning what my strengths are have also given me the courage to launch my own consulting business. This is something I'd been talking about since 2006!!!
   
3. I have learned the value of a dollar. When things get tough, you learn to make a $20 stretch out to do 1,000 things you never thought you could do. This past year has taught me many priorities in life, including how to shop smarter, use coupons, and really really ask myself "do I really need this new moisturizer or new lipstick right now or can it wait?".
   
4. I have learned to save. Learning to value money and learning how to stretch it out has taught me how to save it. I especially enjoy saving for short term little things...like that MAC haul I have been wanting to do. I have also learned to put money back into things for my own career growth, like my consulting business. And most importantly, a "just in case" little stash.
   
5. I have learned to give my undivided and full attention to my children. It's ironic because I always thought that my kids were getting all my attention. Not really. The messes they left behind, their dirty laundry, the driving around...all those things were getting more attention than them! But now that I have them on a half time basis, I try to fully enjoy their company. My son and I have bonded like we never have. He has opened up to me about things that have brought me to tears...we have shared moments. My daughter's time is also just as precious to me, especially when I know she needs her mother around.
   
6. I have learned to value my family and reach out to them when in need. I cannot say enough about my family pulling together for me. I wouldn't have been able to do a lot of the things I'm able to do if it weren't for their encouraging words and at times, their financial contributions and support.
7. I have learned to let go. I can't change circumstances...I can only change myself. So I've had to let go a lot of times of a lot of things. Letting go is an ever evolving process of love and acceptance. I actually appreciate the art of letting go!
8. I have learned to live under someone else's rules. Since I had to stay with a friend I had to learn to live by their rules. The way they clean, cook, etc. This has humbled me beyond belief. It has also allowed me to give help and be a team player when I am needed.
9. I have learned to cook some good stuff man!!! Yup, I learned about my Sharon's Sweet Baby Ray's bbq sauce, along with some other recipes she makes that smell so darn good.
   
10. I've learned to love stronger and harder than ever.
    

So you see, it hasn't been all that bad. I would love to know what positive things you've learned from going through difficult times. I will now leave you with this song...