As you may have heard or already know, I competed this past weekend at the Steve Stone Metropolitan show, otherwise known as "the Mets". Despite all the financial obstacles that I was faced with, I was blissfully calm this time around. But...the more I reflect on it, the more I am thinking this calm feeling might have been a careless feeling. I don't think I cared. I mean, I put in the work, I trained my ass off, but after hearing about my father's death, then all the other challenges that just seemed to pile up, I just couldn't keep up. I felt rather unmotivated but my mind was still on competition auto-drive, so finishing the goal at hand was what I had to do.
Some feedback from people that saw me during the process and up until the day before was that I looked good. Good as in competition/stage ready. I was doing everything I was guided to do. I felt ok. But again, I had that "whatever" mentality.
I guess it showed. It showed on stage. It showed on my prep. It showed in my smile. I was distracted. I was somewhere out there. I wasn't myself.
I didn't do well. And I'm not mad that I didn't. Some people take judging to the next level and complain and get frustrated. I am not one of them. I take it for what it is/was and move on.
I have some feedback for myself and from the judges. I spoke to 3 judges, 1 of which has been following my progress and my competitions for years. One judge was getting ready to leave after pre-judging and got a glimpse at me as I was talking to someone and said...girl, your "wings" are way too big. He was referring to my back. I looked at him weird because I never in a million years would have thought that my back being too big would be an issue. I mean, I'm like ...TINY! I brushed off his comment because I didn't think he was serious. Not until I finally got a chance to speak to that other judge who's seen me compete for years. She had always told me that I needed to bring down my glutes. Basically, my ass was too damn big for stage. LOL. So I immediately thought that's what she was going to tell me. I was wrong. She said she was actually pleased with my lower body. I wasn't quite ready to hear what she had to say next...she said my delts and back were too muscular for figure. Whaaaaaaat?! Never in a million years did I think that day would come. I wasn't upset...I couldn't be. I worked so hard for that little muscle so why would I be mad. Placings are relevance to your hard work in most sports, but for something that's as subjective as a beauty pageant, I just don't take it as that. Bottom line is I didn't do so well...and I am not mad about it at all.
Some of the things I would improve on for myself would be to brighten up my face and make-up a bit. I was so dehydrated that I looked like an 80 year old lady under those lights. At least that's what I thought. Then the spray tan. I love the color it gives...love it love it, however, on my skin type, it just doesn't work. It just darkens(not in a good way), burns and dries the crap out of my skin, especially around my tummy. I have to be very careful with pro tan too which is why I wouldn't do a spray tan again since it's like an overdose of protan all at once.
As far as hair...love my hair, love my hi-lights but...my hair doesn't like drying agents (just like my skin) and it reacts. So when I curl my hair and use hairspray and then use heating tools, it just makes it very brittle and frizzy and it ends up looking not so hot. Believe it or not, the best my hair did on the stage was when I left it at its almost most natural state. I think I will consider this next time.
And the suit, let's not talk about the suit. My man told me to wear the damn green suit. He said he didn't like that pink suit. I didn't listen to him cause I never do. LOL. I almost find it funny, in an ironic kind of way, how I'm inclined to not listen to him and do the complete opposite. Sorry Babe. He loved the green suit, and I actually loved it too. Love the way it looked against my skintone in all my photos but for some reason, I didn't feel confident in it. I felt like my ass was too exposed and you know what...IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN. The pink suit had way too much material in the booty area and covered it all. I also wasn't crazy about the material...it was okay but not ideal. So now I do plan to make some big suit changes! I am going to bedazzle in this new suit. Besides, I've been competing for long enough to finally decide to invest in a good, top of the line, national level suit.
So yes, even though I say that I only compete a couple of times per year, this is one of those years where I'm starting to feel the fire burning. I will be hitting the stage again soon!